Hello ladies and gents,
It has been quite a while since I made a relationship/dating post to guide you young eagles to relationship success. Well if you missed my guiding light (and I am sure you have 😉 ), never fear Nella is here. I have returned to save you all.
Now I believe the first step in loving someone else is to love God and yourself first. Self-appreciation and self-love is an important step on that journey to that romance and united, unconditional love we all seek. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not talking about nor am I preaching vanity, whereby some of us are so in love with ourselves that we are selfish with our love that we are unable to share it with anyone else, nor do we want to. What I am simply putting forth is the idea that you should know and realize that you are someone who is worthy of love and worthy of the best possible love there is. Therefore, no one should accept abuse whether physical, mental or emotional. You should accept the love you deserve.
So you may be wondering: “Where is Nella going with all this?” “Is she going to speak about abuse? Or is it something else along those lines?” Well my gentle loves the answer is ‘No’. The tantalizing topic for today is: ‘Dating mantras- The guiding principles of any single guy or gal’. No this is not like my previous post ‘The Dos and Don’ts of Being Single’. So sit back, relax and enjoy!!!
Dating! What a trip?! Dating is definitely a roller coaster ride. It has many ups, downs and sometimes even horizontal. It can smile unconditionally or make you pull out your hair. Despite all this, we need to remember to focus on the positives and keep the bigger picture in mind. As I always say, ‘Sometimes you have to kiss many frogs before you find the one’. So do not get discouraged if things do not work out as you want it to. Use every dating and relationship experience as a learning tool. Note what you did wrong, what the other person did wrong, identify your likes and dislikes, just make a note of everything that you noticed and use it so you can have more successful relationships in the future. Every mistake helps you to learn what no to do. So I present to you my lovelies dating mantras to help remain open to love.
- I am human and I am worthy of being loved. I recently read a quote “We accept the love we think we deserve” and I must say agree with it completely. Ever wondered why a sweet person stays with a total jerk? Or why an abused person stays with an abusive partner? Well read the quote and you will find your answer. Many times we are unhappy in a relationship, yet we are so caught up in the relationship that we just don’t leave. Remember you should only be in a happy and fulfilling relationship. You are worthy of love and only accept the love you truly deserve. No mediocre love is acceptable.
Quit sweating the small the stuff. Stop being such a worrywart and enjoy your day and life. You are way too young to have worry lines or frown lines across your face. There is a quote that says, “Youth is wasted on the young”. Do you want to make this true or do you want to enjoy life and live it up? Take things one day at a time and enjoy the life God has blessed you with. Practice reciting ‘Today is a new day. Live it up.’ Or you can ask yourself ‘Can I be happy today?’ and the answer should always be ‘Yes’.
My sadness is mine. It is okay to feel sad. It is your right. It’s a valid feeling. It’s okay to go there, so give yourself permission! You won’t die from sadness. Mourn that relationship and then get back out there and be happy again.
This too shall pass. “Everything will be okay in the end; if it’s not okay, it’s not the end!’ You may have gotten rejected, ended a relationship, lost a loved one or worse but the fact remains that the pain will not last forever. Keeping positive and looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow can truly help your state of mind. It helps you to feel better about the future and the prospects to come.
- I am the guardian of me. I cannot control anyone’s behaviour. You cannot make anyone love you or care for you. Take a deep, calming breath and realize the person’s actions are out of your hands and control, you will not stress out and you’ll feel better. The only thing you can do is guard your own heart. Now this doesn’t mean that you should ‘Put up a wall’, all it simply means is that you be realistic in your expectations and keeping them in check, taking responsibility for your own behaviour, not making excuses for someone else’s bad behaviour, and understanding that things don’t always go your way. Take gently care of your heart until you find someone else who will.
Thank you again for reading!
*A mantra is guiding principle to help one feel happier, healthier, more cleansed, peaceful and spiritually centered. It’s about transformation into a happier, better you.
Adapted from the article ’11 Dating Mantras to Live By’ on Glamour.com
Comments, feedback and suggestions are welcomed!!!