He/she is willing to put you first.
In this day and age, it’s so easy for us to be selfish. I want someone who is like this or like that. I want this not that. Picky picky picky. That sometimes we forget that a big part of relationships involves sacrifice and compromise. If you find someone who is willing to put you first, make you top priority in decisions they make and include you in daily routines and decision making then it’s safe to say you’ve got a keeper and this person is truly committed to you.
He/she is there for you in a crisis.
Whether it be the death of a family member or pet, failing a test or exam or just an argument with your parents or friends, if you find a person who is willing to listen to your whoas and fears, hold your hand or give you a hug through your darkest hours then………Can I have him? Because I would really want one of those! J/K (not about the qualities though)………you have a keeper on your hands. Just as long as when the going gets tough, he doesn’t gets going, in the words of Elephant man ‘You’re good to go!’
He/she appreciates your quirks.
Admit it people we all have goofy things about us. Whether it be a funny way we pronounce a word, crinkle our nose when we are cold, eating peanut butter straight from the jar using a spoon or how annoyed we get when a fly flies around you or someone skips you in the line. It’s those little crazy things that make us special. The person for you will accept and even cherish the good, the bad and the annoying in you. You may not be perfect, but you are perfect for them. He/she likes you just the way you are!
He/ she shows you how much they care.
Confessions of the heart are not only shown through our words but also our actions. One of the most important aspects of a relationship is how your chosen partner treats you. Now, I’m not saying that you need to give or receive expensive gifts or to go on trips to Paris and Spain. As good as that all sounds to some, you can show you care just by a simple phone call to see if the other is ok, a motivational word to keep you going when you feel down, a nice poem or song to show how you feel or a goofy text message just to make them smile during stressful times. These all show how much you truly care about the person. If you have someone who does this, then again……….. Can I please have me one of those? I mean come on I said please! (smiles). Jokes aside, hold onto that one.
He/she is kind
You know the age-old saying “Actions speaks louder than words”, well this is true when it comes to relationships. A keeper is someone who is an all around nice person. Whether it be to parents, children, pets, the roadside vendor, the homeless person on the street or the random stranger who walks by, you want someone who shows respect to everyone and everything. As alluring as bad boys and girls seem, they are bad for a reason, will probably never change and it will only lead to heartbreak in the end. A person can be nice and still be strong and not a wimp( if that’s what you view nice people as). Just remember the nice guy doesn’t always have to finish last.
While people tend to be somewhat dynamic beings and change overtime (even though I believe your most basic and baseline qualities remain the same), it is important to have some sort of consistency in your life. Not I did not say PREDICTABLE but I rather am steering you towards the realm of finding someone who is RELIABLE. You want someone you can depend on, someone you can trust, someone who is not a flip flop (like the PNP called Bruce just throwing that in there J) and someone who’s word is as strong as oak. In previous times, a person’s word and handshake was all that was needed to bind an agreement, that’s what you want in a person (well maybe the person’s word with a hug and a kiss would do the trick). Once you find a person like that, you know you’ve got a keeper.
He/she wants to spend time with you (and possibly even of thoughts of your future together)
This is a big point for me as a med student. Time! Boy o boy! A relationship problem generally arises when the plans that we have for each other do not coincide or mesh. You want to spend every waking hour with the person. The person wants some space. (Side note: Do not be clingy! Everyone needs a little breathing room in life.) But if you find someone who is willing to spend as much of their time with you as they can, then you have a keeper. This person obviously cares enough to want you around and share cherished memories with you.
He/she can handle your emotions
Well it’s safe to say when it comes to emotions, women have got men beat. Females are definitely not afraid to throw a hissy fit, breakdown and cry or laugh until they snort when the time comes. While on the flip side, guys never want to express their feelings when they have issues. So if you have found the person who accepts you for your emotional or seemingly emotionless ways (’emotionless façade’), then hold on to him/her. The right fit will be able to handle it all. And don’t worry ladies. He’ll talk to you eventually when he becomes more settled.
He/she fights fair
When you spend enough time with someone and know them long enough, you tend to have an idea of what drives them wild and what gets them upset. Take your hand off the trigger and take the time to listen. How a person handles a conflict, says as much about their character as how they behave during their good moments. You want someone who listens to you and can accept your constructive (not destructive) criticisms when the time comes and not throw back issues of the past in your face, and that’s just what the right fit will do.
He/ she is a grown up
Let’s face it people, despite how dependent most of us are on our parents, according to the law we are adults. Oy vey!!! This means that we have gained certain responsibilities in life. Well the same applies for relationships. As young adults, we have certain responsibilities to ourselves and our partners. I believe much of that responsibility can be covered in three words. The first is COMMUNICATION. We should be able to speak with our partner on any issue good, bad, intriguing or silly. There should be nothing in the world that you cannot talk about. Think of a game of Chinese telephone when there is a breakdown in communication, the message always gets lost along the way and a new one formed based on interpretation of the previous message. Do not leave anything up to interpretation, speak your mind. The next is TRUST. If you can truly trust someone in a relationship then you will be secure and not have to worry about what he/she is doing on a daily basis. This leads to my final HONESTY. Honesty is always the best policy. Now you do not have to be brutally honest, but you can be tactfully honest. Tell the person the truth in the best and most sincere way possible. Engage in truthful and open discussions about life and other issues you may be facing. Remember no one is a minder reader so if you are not honest about your feelings, the other will not know.