When we think of the love we deserve and the love we often get, the only love that withstands the times is the love of God and hopefully the love of self. For years we struggle to find those who love and care for us and sometimes things don’t quite add up the way we would hope.
For example we would think that our family, friends, and those we’ve grown close to would give us unconditional love…you know that alleged 25% of people who will love you no matter what but sometimes it’s not the case. It’s now necessarily the family we are born with who love us best but the ones we create who remain true. The ones who really have no real reason to stay committed to our relationship with them. That unconditional love we crave, whether it be pampered love, tough love or crazy love, it’s love nonetheless.
On the other hand, we have those whose love comes with certain terms. If you agree they love you but if you disagree all hell with you and they chose to abandon, ridicule or scorn you. This conditional love that people tend to have. At some point we all had a touch as children where when our friend played the game we want we were happy but if we disagreed with the game then we would argue and not talk until our parents made us. But usually at some point we would grow the habit out and learn to be agreeable rather than always right. Unfortunately, some of us do not and carry this behaviour into adulthood. This behaviour can be very toxic because it creates dominant and submissive roles in the relationship, where one partner tries to people please and the other takes advantage. It’s not healthy on either part.
There comes a time when you need to examine your relationships and decide how it is impact both you and your partner’s lives. And this doesn’t necessarily mean a romantic relationship, it can be a friendship or a family dynamic that is based on these premises. There comes a time when you need to break the ties with those whose love you find to have conditioned applied and embrace those who remain in your life no matter what. These are your motivators, cheerleaders and will be more instrumental in accomplishing your goals than those who decide you need to supply their needs always rather than it being a mutual relationship.