Source: Here’s How To Stop Loving Them
As it gets closer to the end of the year, it becomes a time for reflection and examination. Looking back on the year that has passed and think about our goals, our plans, our successes, our failures and all the life changes that have occurred in 2015. For many of us, 2015 opened new doors and we are proud to say we accomplished most if not, all of our goals. But for the vast majority of resolution-makers, it became another year of failures, lost dreams, ruined plans and grave disappointments. Personally, 2015 was one of the most challenging and arduous years of my life. I failed many times over, was successful at a few and had many trials and tests of my persistence. However, in the end, there is one great gift that 2015 has given me and that was a great lesson in failure. And of all the lessons I’ve learned on failure, these are but the 3 I found to be the greatest help in my ability to push through and finish the year on a successful note.
1) Failure isn’t permanent.
As a child growing up, one of my absolute greatest fears was that of failure. If I got anything less than 90% on a test I thought my world was coming to an end. It became so crippling that if there was even the hint or possibility of failure, I would quit before I even began. Now this is a problem that is not exclusive to me. As children, we are often taught to fear failure and avoid mistakes. Our society preaches perfection from our looks to our careers and as a result, many of us are so afraid of failing in life, failing at our jobs, failing our families that we refuse to even try and accomplish that major goal that’s been weighted on our shoulders for years. We would rather play it safe, not take chances, not explore, not even stick our necks out to try. But what society never tells us is that you don’t often get it on the first try and that it often takes repeated efforts to get to success. Failure isn’t permanent. It’s a setback and NOT a full stop. It is a chance for growth and a lesson in what doesn’t work, so we can finally find the one thing that does. Failure is a means to an end, not the end itself.
2) Failure is a Lesson, Learn it.
There is a big misconception that all those wildly successful amongst us must have been born with an innate ability to succeed, or just exposed to the right people and the right opportunities that have made them successful. The idea that they have never failed in their lives and if you fail you are just not worthy of success. But this just isn’t true. There is nothing wrong with failing. All the great innovations and all the great accomplishments involve failure. Most persons identify failure as the opposite of success, but it truly isn’t. Failing is rather the path to success and merely a process in the journey. The true opposite of success is not trying. How can you expect to get ahead by sitting on your behind? How can you expect to succeed if you don’t even try? As arguably the greatest basketball player of all time Michael Jordan says, “I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” Remember, every failure is a lesson and an opportunity to return better, stronger, smarter and more prepared than ever before.
3) Failure is growth.
You can read a thousand motivational articles, listen to a hundred key note addresses and read as many books on success that you can find but nothing will improve you, or bring you closer to success than failure. Embrace your failures and grow from them. Use them as the propeller to keep moving forward towards all your goals. All successes are built on failure so focus on improving what has succeeded in the past and build on it. And if you aren’t failing then you aren’t trying hard enough, you aren’t taking risks and you aren’t growing. With each failure you grow, you become bigger, you learn new and important things and you get one step closer to reaching your goals. Failing sucks. But it happens to all of us. And how you react to the events in your life will be the biggest determinant of who you are.
I leave you with this quote from Winston Churchill, “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
1. Signing a lease for an apartment that’s completely yours – no parents, no siblings, no roommates, no boyfriend or girlfriend, just you. It doesn’t matter if it’s the smallest studio in existence, because it’s still yours.
2. Doing something that’s terrified you your entire life – it can be as drastic as skydiving or as seemingly low-key as signing up for an acting class. If it terrifies you, it’s a huge step to take.
3. Going through a painful breakup and refusing to let it drown you; instead, deciding to find growth and strength from it.
4. Asking for a raise when you know you deserve it, especially if you’re the one to bring it up.
5. Giving money – that you don’t have quite enough of yet – to people or causes that need it.
6. Discovering or rediscovering spirituality in your life, whether that’s through an…
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Most girls dream of finding the One. The guy who will, just by a glance, send her stomach aflutter. The guy who makes her nervous when he first says hello. The guy who constantly invades her dreams. The guy who, stands by her—when her looks fade, when shit happens, and when she hits rock bottom.
Women are socialized to start dreaming of prince charming as teens. In her twenties, a woman’s search officially begins. In her thirties, the panic sets in. And if she hasn’t found the One by forty, it’s all over. BULLSHIT. It’s thinking like this that makes women choose unwisely and allows them to settle for less than they’re worth. Below are three main reasons why women tend to settle, relationship wise.
1. All her friends are getting hitched.
You’re at the wedding and there’s that moment you dread, the part when the bride tosses…
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1. Keep falling for each other. Act like you’re at the top of Rick’s Cafe on a cliff in Jamaica, nervously peeping over the edge, and jump off. Fall deeper and harder for each other every day. Live the best free-falling life with the person you love, until it ends—when that chapter closes, or somebody dies.
2. Make real plans with your partner, not the things society tells you to plan (e.g. your wedding, pregnancy, and home ownership). Screw society’s idea of what your life should look like, and those banks that approve high interest rate mortgages. Instead, plan a day trip or a road trip or decide to buck convention altogether. Focus on what you actually want as a couple, not what you’re supposed to want.
3. Eat healthy and take care of your bodies so you can live 50 more years with the person you…
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You and I were supposed to be easy. I was leaving in ten days and had the world at my feet, and you were a 39-year-old, soon-to-be divorcee looking for someone to screw. We started out that night in a bar, and ended it in each other’s arms, knowing that all we could expect in the morning was awkward silence and a clumsy goodbye.
I didn’t expect your fingers to burn holes in my skin and that I would forget what it was like to not have them there. I didn’t realize that your body would mold to mine and that any moment spent without you would feel like the biggest piece of myself was missing. I didn’t know that I would smile so much more when you were around. I didn’t believe that I could forget, when I left, all that we had to laugh about.
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