Tips To Ease The Pain of A Breakup
Hi loves,
It’s been a really long time since I’ve written here. Honestly, I didn’t know if I would be back to this my little space on the blogosphere. But something happened. While one of my late night procrastination trips for my other blog As Told By Nella I somehow felt an urge to stop here and looks back on my love journey. It was, for lack of a better term, inspiring. It reminded me of my core and brought me back to my starting point. So refreshing and so needed.
Where am I getting at with all this? Well this space has always been my most raw emotions laid out in front for everyone to see. It’s been my sanctuary and place of refuge when times are most trying. And tonight that was exactly what I needed.
Now just to warn you and be open. I am not currently going through a break up. I’m happily in a loving relationship and fingers crossed that doesn’t change. I hove however experienced some relationship disasters. Heartaches and pains that I never thought possible. Gut-wrenching, immobilizing pain. And I know someone, somewhere is going through what I went through. I want to be a beacon of hope and love. Just to remind you that the sun rises in the morning and the rainbow comes out after the storm. So if you’re going through a breakup or heart break, here are a few tips that I hope will help you.
1. Keep Busy
This is truly the first step, as the rest usually follow this one. If you lay around the house all day thinking about the person, you may fall into depression and you will miss the person. You are justified in missing the individual but not to the point of absolute sadness and possibly self-destruction. Vulnerability can be constructive as well as destructive. Let it be the former. Find some activities that you want to do; that you need to do. Just do something positive (and that you won’t regret!).
If you do something you love, it will help. It needs to be something you really and truly love to do. Sing, dance, shout for joy. Paint, draw or comb your hair. Just do it. And definitely not something you guys used to do together, but something you personally love. I know as a couple we share many of our interests but there is always something personal that you couldn’t or wouldn’t do as a couple that you loved doing. It will make you as the individual feel better. As long as it will positively uplift you and make you better as an individual, you will have no regrets later. So what are you waiting for? Go for it!
3. Spend time with Family and Friends
Did you fall in the couple trap? You know what I mean. The couple trap where you spend so much time together or being a couple that you tend to not be around friends and family as much. But they are there. The arms of comfort in your times of sadness. Talk to them. Speak to them about how you feel. Share as much or as little details as you want to, it’s your choice. Tell them what’s going on. Then they can do all they can to help you in the best way possible. Whether you need advice, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear to vent to or just someone to be with you, find a friend or family member or a support group if needs be.
They can also work as buffers for those days where you’re prone to do something less than smart. They can stop you from making stupid or dangerous decisions that you may regret later. I get it. Breakups can make you a little crazy, especially when they are unexpected.
Let’s get physical, physical. Keep active! Go for a run! Dance it out! Do insanity! Let’s zumba! Whatever you do. Keep physically fit. It’ll make you feel better. It helps with the anger and sadness and causes an increase in endorphins(those feel good hormones that makes you smile from ear to ear. You know that good stuff). It gives you a clearer perspective on the situation. You’ll feel so much better about yourself. High five for more self-confidence. Plus you’ll look sexy while doing it. Healthy body, healthy mind. (Bonus: If you run into your ex, at least you’ll look great and happy, even if you are faking it until you make it).
5. Cry And Let It Out But Do Not Have A Pity Party
Let it out because bottling it up can be self destructive.Crying can help you express the pain.Just don’t feel sorry for yourself.You can’t control everything.You made a mistake but move on and avoid making any more.Dont feel sorry for yourself.Dust yourself off and keep living.The world is still spinning.You can miss the individual for some period of time but eventually you will have to move on.
6. Make A List of All The Things You Want In A Girl or Guy
A realistic list that is.Make the list and check it twice.If you keep saying that you aren’t getting what you want in a relationship,write down what you want.If the guy needs to have a relationship with God,write it down.If he needs to have a good relationship with his family,write it down.Also make another list of red flags or things you don’t want in a person.Stop settling and go after what you deserve.Wait for it if you have to.You will thank yourself later for this.
You can’t take care of anyone else if you can’t take care of yourself.Get to know yourself.Neaten up your appearance.See that amazing person and be the amazing person you want to attract and give yourself the love and attention first.Deal with any issues.Then when that person comes along,the chance of having a healthy relationship will increase.Just take of yourself,be optimistic and be happy.Know you deserve good things and believe it.Also you never know who you might see after this process 😉
8. Make a playlist
I’ve found that music is a perfect mood changer. The sweet sounds and melodies of your favourite song may be just what you need to make you feel better. My personal breakup playlist is called ‘Boys suck lets throw rocks at them’. It’s filled with some of my favourite breakup and uptempo songs that I pump and play on repeat until I feel like I can move on to my other playlist called, ‘I’m amazing and you missed out’ which is filled with my favourite self-love/party songs that just make me feel all-around amazing. I always feel better and I guarantee you will too.
Kingstonian Travels 